Kym:
Hey! Why do I have to be the Decepticons?
Rob:
It just sounds better. I tried Autokyms and Deceptirobs, but it just didn't roll off the tongue.
Kym:
*Sigh*...very well.
Rob:
Kym and I are usually on the same page when it comes to movies, 'Burlesque' aside...
Kym:
Oh come on, Burlesque wasn't that bad.
Rob:
You're just lucky I didn't notify the U.N. of the atrocities committed. The song and dance number 'I'll show you how to Burlesque' should have resulted in war trials.
Kym:
Back on topic, although we don't always completely agree, it's rare when we have a movie where we're sharply divided on, especially when that movie is an action blockbuster, like Transformers 3, which I found very funny and entertaining.
Rob:
Which I found half-assed, uninteresting, and at many points, downright ridiculous. Before we get into that, let's start on the first major change, the change-up in romantic interests for our hero.
Kym:
As you'd say, she could use a sammich. Also, I thought her lips looked weird. Collagen and/or Botox were definitely involved.
Rob:
I thought she looked alright. She definitely had the figure needed for the part. That said, I couldn't help but wish we had Megan Fox back. She has a certain something. An undefinable quality that...
Kym:
*Sigh* I'm just going to cut you off here, dear. I don't think there's much of a mystery here.
Rob:
*Ahem* Well, maybe not. Still, I think it's a worthwhile trade since Skids and Mudflap were thrown in with Megan Fox, and nixed from the movie.
Kym: Wait, which ones were....
Kym: Oh. Them.
Rob:
As a whole, Michael Bay's 'annoying racism' factor went down for this movie, which was a good thing. Still, the movie as a whole didn't make much sense, not because it was overly complicated, but because the movie never really explains why the characters do what they do, and what their reasoning may be. Instead, the story just jumps from scene to scene, without fully explaining how we got there.
Kym:
I gotta strongly disagree there. Sure, the movie doesn't have the intellectual depth of 'X-Men First Class', but by jumping from scene to scene quickly, the movie never gets boring. Instead, it jumps right from action to action. Besides, you of all people pointed out the plot holes of the previous Transformers movies.
Rob:
That alone shows you something. I was willing to forgive the previous movies because all their plot problems aside (Tigers in Africa? Egypt is a third world country, instead of a thriving tourism filled nation?) the movies kept upping the ante with the action, and if it didn't make a lot of sense, you could at least enjoy all the robot fights and explosions. Transformers 3, in comparison, didn't seem that thrilling to me. At least not enough to offset its weaknesses.
Kym:
You're being too hard on it. This was a solid, action packed 'Transformers movie', filled with tons of explosions, cool military scenes, a giant snake robot tearing up a city, and Optimus Prime kicking the crap out of everything in-between. Also, a few of the story twists were pretty interesting, especially regarding Sentinel Prime, voiced by Leonard Nimoy.
Rob:
No complaints with any of that, but I just couldn't take many of the scenes seriously. Here are some examples of the weak storytelling, and confusing plot holes:
1. Why don't any of the Decepticons have alarms or long distance communication? It takes them forever to figure out that the Autobots have entered the city at the end, long after the Autobots have killed some of them. Even an alarm would have done it. Lord knows what humanity will do when they discover walkie-talkies. Even smoke signals would have been an improvement.
2. Where did the missing Autobots from the second movie go? Not just Skids and Mudflap (which we can only pray are dead) but the girl motorcycle Autobots as well? You could just say they were killed off camera, but by who? There were no Decepticons around, and Optimus has the Matrix of leadership, which could have restored them if they were near death. Are we suggesting that human enemies managed to annihilate them completely, leaving nothing behind? No way. The real answer is they just weren't popular, and Michael Bay was too lazy to come up with an explanation.
3. Is the movie really suggesting that Optimus was trapped for a long time because he couldn't untangle himself from wires? Seriously? He's a transformer for Christ's sake! He wasn't even that tangled up! But no, he needs several other robots to help get him out.
4. I know this is sort of an 'action movie thing', but this movie stretched it to completely unbelievable levels: our office worker hero and his model girlfriend survive a gunfight, join up with the military, run several blocks, go up about 30 stories of stairs, have another desperate gun battle, nearly fall to their death, and then fight Star Scream in a high flying action scene. My point? At the end of all this, the main characters aren't even out of breath. The soldiers are trained for it, and action movies generally never get tired, but COME ON! If not the main guy, what about his skinny girlfriend? They just completed a 10 mile nonstop run, and they're not even winded.
5. One big scene depends on the Autobots surrendering to the Decepticons, and taken captive. WHY THE HELL WOULD THEY SURRENDER?!!! They know the Decepticons are not only going to enslave the world, but are also just going to kill them one by one if they give up, and this is precisely what happens. But no, instead of fighting to the end they patiently wait to be executed one by one. Well, this might be unfair of me to say. It's not like the Autobots were still armed....
6. Oh wait, they were STILL ARMED! When the Du Ex Machina distracts the Decepticons, the Autobots start firing away with their inbuilt guns, killing the Decepticons. So not only did they surrender, and the Decepticons not take their guns away, but the Autobots patiently waited to be killed one by one, while still armed with giant deadly weapons. Sweet Jesus....
Kym:
Rant much, dear?
Rob:
The movie just gave me so much to rant about.
Kym:
I think you're just over-analyzing things too much. It was a fun, brainless action flick. It's what we wanted to see, and it's what we got. I liked it.
Rob:
Did I mention that Michael Bay got caught reusing action scenes from 'The Island' in Transformers 3? For such a 'master of action movies', he couldn't even be bothered to make new action scenes. One word sums up Transformers 3 for me: LAZY.
Kym:
I just think you're being too difficult to please. This movie had the distinct advantage over the previous Transformers movies in that it didn't lag or get dragged down by unnecessary scenes. It kept moving right along and kept my interest from start to finish.
Rob:
Okay, I have to admit, there was still fun to be had, but I would have had just as much fun watching the first or second Transformers movies again. This movie was just a mindless re-hash with a weak story, and a ton of plot holes.
Kym: Oh well, we'll just have to agree to disagree. Personally, I had a lot of fun, and that's good enough for me.
...
Rob's Rating (school style): C
Kym's Rating (buy/rent/ignore): buy, unless you didn't like the first 2 Transformers movies.
