Fall TV Lineup part 2

Rob:

*Completely out of breath*

...flying predators would be snatching up stray children for snacks...and in conclusion, that is absolutely everything wrong with the show Terra Nova...


Kym:

Are you done, honey?



Rob:

Yeah. Time to move on.





Kym:

Quiet in the gallery/comments! Rest assured, as an avid 'Buffy' fan, there was no possible way I'd miss this show. Unfortunately...


Rob:

It's a crappy CW show.


Kym:

In a nutshell, yes. Sarah Michelle Gellar is doing her best to lend some of her talent to the show, but the plot's weak, the show has absolutely no budget (the shots that supposedly take place on a boat out at sea are downright embarassing), and most of the other actors are boring.


Rob:

Except a pretty good performance from Nestor Carbonell, who you might remember as the mayor of Gotham city in Dark Knight who wore eyeliner for some unknown reason.


Kym:

Don't ask, don't tell.


Rob:

He's sort of the poor man's Raul Julia, but together, him and Sarah do their best to pull the show out of the muck, but they ultimately fail.


Kym:

It depends on your definition of failure. The show already got picked up for a full season, probably due to the appeal of Sarah Michelle Gellar, combined with how cheaply they can throw the show together.


Rob:

Seriously, it's like Baywatch, only without the skin or the Hoff. I wouldn't bother, unless you're that desperate to see Gellar in something new.





Rob:

Yup, it's yet another cop show, combined with yet another 'working woman trying to make it in a male dominated environment'. Only this one is pretty good.


Kym:

Yeah, it's pro-feminist without being preachy. I like the 'Homicide' feel it has. Everything's a bit more gritty and realistic, without getting ridiculously morbid or tragic.


Rob:

That's usually a very fine line to tread. It's difficult to have a show continue being suspenseful without it getting predictable in one way or another, but I like the direction they're take the show, and the performance by Maria Bello.


Kym:

Her character is played very tough, which works well. We recently found out that this is based on a British TV series starring Helen Mirren.


Rob:

No offense, but Helen Mirren is about ten times sexier than Maria Bello.



Kym:

Uh...you do mean Helen Mirren in 1993, when the show aired, and not Helen Mirren now, right?


Rob:

I stand by my statement.






Rob:

Speaking of cop shows, here's a pseudo-cop show starring James Caviezel.



Kym:

Who is he, again?


Rob:

He's the guy who got beaten up really bad in that middle eastern movie.



Kym:

*Googles it* Sigh...you're terrible. All in all, this is sort of a generic cop/spy show, but the actors really help it rise above its similar peers.


Rob:

Caviezel gives a good performance, but let's not forget Michael Emerson, who plays a very difficult part very well, and in many instances comes off as even cooler than the Bond-like secret agent, Caviezel. Not bad for a computer guy.



Kym:

I just knew you'd be rooting for a fellow geek, dear. So far some of the episodes have been hit or miss, but overall it's good, and has been renewed for another 6 episodes. Only time will tell if it's renewed for another season.


Rob:

Besides the overall premise being a little stale, my other problem is that I think the main character is acting a little too nice and merciful for his own good. I can't help but think that if the show was on cable, instead of a network, we'd be watching a much darker show.



Kym:

Speaking of darker shows...





Kym:

Uh...I meant American Horror Story.


Rob:

Then you shouldn't have said 'darker show', because if there's any maestro of terror on television, it's Ron Ben-Israel.






Kym:

Okay, for a Food TV host, the guy is indeed pretty creepy. Even in his lighter moments, he still comes off as an incredibly pretentious ass that makes Gordon Ramsey look 'easy going'. It also doesn't help that he isn't balanced by any other judges. Nope, it's just that one incredibly creepy foreign guy.


Rob:

The show itself is pretty good, but everything is offput by the 'mad genius/serial killer vibe' I keep getting getting from the host. Sort of makes you wonder what terrible fate awaits the three losers.



Kym:

Bottomless pit? Death ray? Ground into flour and served in cakes?


Rob:

If they're lucky! For all we know he might drop them in vats of boiling caramel, or stitch them together into a human centipede!



Kym:

That is DEFINITELY not the vibe you want to get from a Food TV host. The show has promise, but only if they add another judge or two, to balance that weirdo out.





Kym:

Now this is the show I meant when I said 'dark'. After watching a couple episodes, I can assure you that it's not only scary and disturbing, but also a hyper-sexualized mind-f*ck.


Rob:

Hard to believe it's brought to us by the people who made Glee! I like to think that the main premise behind the show is traumatizing teenage Glee fans for life.


Kym:

Well if any show can do it, this one can. It works well as a horror show, even though they do go a bit overboard with the sex and cursing. I guess they feel that since it's cable, they might as well go for it.



Rob:

The show is essentially a well paced, slowly unfolding mystery, but like other similar shows, like Twin Peaks, it runs the risk of burning out. After all, how can you keep this up without every character winding up dead?




Kym:

We'll just have to see. The show is very well made though, and the cast works well. I sort of wish it was on HBO though, not for additional sex and violence, but to eliminate the commercial breaks.


Rob:

I agree, it's difficult to keep up an atmosphere of tension when you interrupt the narrative every few minutes for a Pizza Hut commercial.


Kym:

Still, it manages to be honestly scary and unsettling, which is something few TV shows can do.


Rob:

Even more unsettling is the symbolism within the show. The main couple that's moved into the haunted house recently suffered a miscarriage, and the show starts with a trip to her gynecologist, who says that her body is like a house.



Kym:

So her body is haunted?


Rob:

It gets a little worse than that. You see, the basement of the house is the most haunted and dangerous place, originally filled with a corpse/infant monster. Again, the wife suffered a miscarriage, so if her body is like a house, then the haunted basement would be...


Kym:

Ewwww...


Rob:

Yeah. Needless to say, it's a very disturbing show, but when you're a horror show, and not a cooking competition, it's a good thing.


...

Kym:

All in all, it's been a pretty good opening for Fall season, with only a couple outright losers, and a lot of good potential.



Rob:

My new show of choice is American Horror Story. It's a close competition between that, Revenge, and Person of Interest, but the amazing opening credits is enough to push my vote in their favor, as it rivals True Blood's opening for pure surreal horror.


Kym:

My favorite show was definitely Revenge, as it's just too much fun not to root for our dangerous heroine, who's quietly ruining the lives of every person who ever crossed her family. It's good old fashioned 'mean' fun. Prime Suspect takes a close second place.


Rob:

So with surreal horror and terrible vengeance winning over our hearts, I wish everyone a happy viewing season. If you don't hear from me soon, it may be because I've been frightened to death by the scariest thing imaginable....


Kym:

Ron Ben-Israel guest starring on American Horror Story?


Rob:

*Hides under covers*


Kym:

Oh well. Happy Halloween!

Fall TV Lineup

Kym:

We're continuing our break from new movies for the moment, because Contagion was 'okay, but dull'...


Rob:

And we weren't exactly sure how to stretch thee words into a full page.


Kym:

Exactly, so instead we're going to take a look at some of the new TV shows that have come out this season, staring with...





Kym:

The Playboy Club!


Rob:

Which was already cancelled!


Kym:

So very cancelled!


Rob:

Basically, they took a format for a female focused drama, put them in supposedly 'skimpy' dresses, and then get terrible writers to create everything.


Kym:

Yeah, it just wasn't very good at all. Although I thought you'd like all the girls, in a 'Hooters Waitress' sort of way.


Rob:

Meh. Bunny outfits weren't exactly revealing. I've seen co-workers in skimpier outfits at work. R-I-P-B-N-Y.





Rob:

Now here's a show that gets the same formula right. It's another female focused drama, but it's smart, and the female stars are all remarkably sexy in their flight attendant outfits, without showing barely any skin at all.


Kym:
So far it's a well crafted story, and it's not just about the female characters. The guys are funny and interesting as well. They also did a really good job recreating the time period, and the great jets.


Rob:

Also, it stars Christina Ricci, rocking a Mary Tyler Moore haircut, who's never looked better.


Kym:

Why do guys always obsess on how the female characters look? Noticing and mentioning is one thing, but sometimes it's all you guys talk about.


Rob:

Fine! The male characters are hot too! Happy?



Kym:

Much bet...wait, what?





Rob:

Nevermind, we're already on to the next show, X-Factor: AKA American Idol!



Kym:

American Idol is new?


Rob:

It is if we change the name, and replace the black judge who wears glasses with another black guy who wears glasses!



Kym:

Uh...no it isn't.


Rob:

I guess you're right, it isn't. Disqualified!






Kym:

This is my personal favorite new show of the fall season! It's a good old fashioned revenge story...


Rob:

That's not a figure of speech, either. It is a good old fashioned revenge story: the Count of Monte Cristo. It's not a rip-off though, but an homage. I also really enjoyed watching Emily VanCamp get her terrible revenge week after week.



Kym:

I like how the story is slowly unfolding, with every person who wronged her family each getting their just desserts.


Rob:

Kind of makes me wonder how they plan to make the series last more than a season or two. Oh well, here's to hoping that it does well, so we can find out.



Kym:

Not going to drool over the female cast members?


Rob:

Another meh. Most of the actresses on the show need sammiches. The only exception is the evil Matriarch 'Victoria', played by Madeline Stowe. She's like a cross between a Disney evil stepmother, and a Playboy model. I approve. All in all, I'm going to keep watching, even though it's not really a show targeted toward men.



Kym:

What do you mean? I think guys will like it too.


Rob:

Come on, it's being advertised as the 'dishiest' show on television. I don't even know what that means! No man does!



Kym:

Well I disagree, but we'll move on.





Kym:

We may be a little prejudiced with this one. You see, a while back Fox cancelled a very good show called 'Lie to Me', starring Tim Roth, and replaced it with the X-Factor...


Rob:

American Idol 2: This time, it's exactly the same.


Kym:

...and this show, Terra Nova. Still, I'm willing to give any show a fighting chance. Basically, the future sucks, and there's a time portal that leads 85 million years into the past, where the characters start a new life.



Rob:

Which is annoying, because I found the crowded, dirty, dis-utopian future quite interesting, and the special effects creating it were pretty good.




Kym:

Yeah, but in the past we have dinosaurs! Not exactly Summer Blockbuster quality dinosaurs, but they look alright for a TV show. From there we have survival, warring camps, and overall a cross between 'Lost' and 'Land of the Lost'.


Rob:

Honestly, I wasn't very impressed with it at all. There was very little drama, very poor chemistry...


Kym:

And way too many 'angsty teenagers in love' sub-plots.


Rob:

I also had trouble believing how many problems the people from the future were having. For starters, why do they have supply problems? Can't the future just send them more? And why are the guns so ineffective against the dinosaurs? I mean, we have guns in real life that will tear a T-Rex to shreds in seconds, but their laser guns merely piss the dinosaurs off?



Kym:

I should have expected my fiance to have some 'nerd rage' concerning the show.


Rob:

Also, all the walls around their fort look like crap! Is that the best the future has? We have time portals, but not secure fences? And what's with the slowly moving gate into town? With killer dinosaurs around, you'd think they'd close quickly...


Kym:

So anyway, the show isn't that impressive. I like the special effects, but there just isn't much interesting here. I'd much rather watch 'The Walking Dead', which gets the survivalist genre down much better.


Rob:

...and where the hell are the computers? And shouldn't the people in the future already know how well things are going? Aren't there fossil/archeological records of their fort? If the future still sucks, aren't they guaranteed to ultimately fail? And what happens when primitive man comes around and...


Kym:

Sigh...I think we should just take a break now, and let my future hubby get the geeky ranting out of his system.



Rob:

And the diseases! Don't even get me started on all the ramifications of...


Kym:

See you next week!