Rob:
'Spectacular' is a strong word to use for the recent flurry of movies released this holiday season.
Kym:
'Mediocre' would be a better word...but before we get into that, we'd like to warn you all about a new problem within our movie industry, specifically with the fantasy genre. We call it 'Harry Potter Syndrome'.
Kym:
Don't worry, it has nothing to do with being compelled to dress like Harry.
Rob:
Or terrible haircuts. No, this is the desire for a series to become the next Harry Potter. It's understandable, given the uptillion-zillion dollars the series has made, but instead of trying to make something new, exciting, and with broad appeal...
Kym:
They're just throwing huge budgets at other Young Adult book series, hoping it becomes the 'next big thing', spawning a colossal series of movies. Thanks to this, we have incredibly expensive and over elaborate 'kids' movies, like the Narnia series, Golden Compass, Vampire's Assistant, Star Wars Clone Wars cartoon, and a (most likely) upcoming Ender's game movie.
Rob:
Ender's game might have a little too much...how shall I put this...underage sex in it for it to really catch on with the masses. Oh yeah, and incestuous undertones. That too.
Kym:
*SIGH* Anyway, what we're getting at is that trying to become the next Harry Potter is turning movies that may have achieved modest success into colossal flops, simply because the budget goes way over where it should be. Yet, another terrible aspect of Harry Potter syndrome is what it does to the last movie.
Rob:
Specifically, it 'splits' it. Harry Potter started a dangerous precedent by splitting Deathly Hallows into two movies. I can understand why they did it though, as there was no way to fit that entire story into one movie.
Kym:
And unlike the previous few books, they can't make up enough difference by cutting out Hermoine's battle for house elf rights, Quidditch, or generic teen angst.
Rob:
The precedent, however, was eagerly picked up by Twilight, who was looking for an excuse to double their profits simply by tearing the script in half.
Kym:
The movie has its moments, and they managed to work through some of the 'crazier' moments of the novel, but overall it's very very SLOW.
Rob:
A moment of silence, for the two hours of my life I'll never get back.
Kym:
You did that joke already for 'Water for Elephants'.
Rob:
Robert Pattinson started it!
Kym:
In any case, Breaking Dawn did not have to be two movies. This movie's unbelievably padded, stretching along a thin plot from scene to meaningless scene. We get it, Bella's suffering! Can we move on?
Rob:
Not where there's more money to be made. Thanks to Harry Potter syndrome, I think we can expect final chapters of all long running series to be stretched into two movies. At least until one of them bombs (probably Hunger Games 3 part 2, or something).
Kym:
Uh...dear, you put both pictures up at once, for both the new Mission Impossible and Sherlock Holmes.
Rob:
Two movies? What are you going on about? I'm pretty sure it was just one.
Kym:
No the...on second thought, you might have something there. Both were sequels with a star filled cast. Both mixed action and comedy.
Rob:
Lots of special effects that despite looking good, really began to wear down upon you as the movie went on, with spectacle replacing content. Both movies obviously had 'Imax' in mind.
Kym:
Both pandered to female viewers...or attempted to anyway. They each equally failed in that regard, with the Holmes/Watson thing being way too overt...
Kym:
And Tom Cruise not exactly 'doing it' for most women these days.
Rob:
I'm not sure what expression is on those women's faces, but I'm pretty sure it's not 'barely contained lust'.
Kym:
Although there's much to appreciate in both movies. Both had a nice cast, which worked well together.
Rob:
Both included great performances from talented British comedians.
Rob:
And yet, both the movies just come across as 'generic'. Both also include a somewhat boring villain that somehow manages to keep physically overpowering our hero, despite being twice their age and completely out of shape. Thanks for the realism!
Kym:
Neither of these movies are anything we haven't seen in the previous installations, and they could have also cut 20 minutes off the run time without hurting either movie in the least. All in all, this goes to show us the importance of...
Rob:
International markets.
Kym:
Right...wait, what? I was going to say 'creativity, and showing the audience something completely new'.
Rob:
That too, but if we look at these two movies alone, MI4 is doing a lot better than SH2 overall, and it's thanks to international markets.
Kym:
Why? Foreign countries aren't exactly portrayed very nicely in MI.
Rob:
Has nothing to do with it. It comes down to the simplicity of its plot. The plot of MI is a lot easier to follow (or simply ignore) than the rampant twists and turns of Sherlock, which translates to more international appeal, since the subtleties of any movie plot (from any country) is usually lost when using subtitles or dubbing. The end result: SH barely covered its budget, and MI is swimming in money Scrooge McDuck style, thanks mostly in part to international markets, which is almost double that of its domestic take.
Kym:
No accounting for taste, I guess. I actually preferred Sherlock Holmes, for Robert Downey Jr's charm. Instead of charm or witty dialog, Mission Impossible mostly had running. Lots and lots of running.
Rob:
I still don't get what you mean by 'preferred', as if there were two different movies here.
Kym:
For the last time, they aren't exactly the same. Sherlock Holmes was far more homo-erotic, if nothing else.
Rob:
Marking the first time in history were a Tom Cruise movie is compared to a film he wasn't in, and deemed the 'less gay' of the two.
KYM'S FINAL RATINGS:
Twilight Breaking Dawn: buy on blu ray if you're a fan
Sherlock Holmes 2: blu ray, but wait for a sale
Mission Impossible: ignore, unless it's very cheap
ROB'S FINAL RATINGS:
Twilight Breaking Dawn: (men, hide as long as you can) D+
Sherlock Holmes 2/Mission Impossible 4: C+
