Rob:
Summer time is almost here, and it's time to repeat the tradition started last year:
Kym:
Start with a great Marvel movie in May, and then progress downhill from there!
Can't have the Avengers every year, sorry.
Rob:
Before we get into that, let's start with the movie geeks have been eagerly waiting for that didn't star Robert Downey Jr: Star Trek 2!
(Or is it 12?)
Rob:
Finally, fangirls can have Benedict write fanfiction where Benedict Cumberbach has sex with Zachary Quinto WITHOUT a dimensional crossover.
WHEW! Okay Spock, take a break. Kirk, it's your turn...
Kym:
Wouldn't put it past them. I really liked J.J. Abrams followup to the series. There's a lot of action, and the character interaction is hilarious! I also appreciated the lack of techno-babble that most Star Trek Geeks seem so fond of.
Rob:
Yeah, these movies were definitely made for the masses, rather than a small group of nerds. All in all, I think it's a good move. The movie works more or less the same way as the first, overwhelming the audience with a combination of great special effects, funny characters, and lens flare, combined in well executed and briskly paced scenes.
Kym:
There's a good amount of good acting and depth as well, which I mostly credit to Zachary Quinto, who once again absolutely nails the part of Spock.
Rob:
Much like Cumberback in those fanfics.
"I find Rob's base humor to be both pointless and insulting."
Rob:
On a different note, I actually didn't think the movie had much depth. It moved from plot point to plot point too abruptly, often without any logical explanations.
Kym:
I didn't think it was that bad. There were quite a few unresolved questions though, like "why did Star Fleet tell their super assassin-agent where they all meet up during a disaster?", or "why doesn't the Enterprise call Earth, to let them know what's going on?", or "what is the point of Alice Eve's character, who serves no purpose to the plot at all?"
Oh, right.
Rob:
The movie manages to keep things moving along quickly enough that we don't linger on these points, but a lot of the plot seems a little half-assed.
Kym:
Although I really liked Benedict Cumberbach in this movie, I have to say that his character had a lot in common with the Avenger's Loki.
(-100% Ricardo Montalbon, +100% Tom Hiddleston)
Rob:
Replacing a Mexican actor with a British one, to represent a character that's supposed to be from India. Nailed it.
Kym:
I know handsome British actors are 'in' right now, but it goes beyond Ethnicity. They give the villain the same flowing cape, practically identical dialog, and even copied the 'walking down the hallway under guard' scene directly from the Avengers. And where did the guards take the villain in both movies? A cell with a see-through wall!
Rob:
All things considered, I still really liked Star Trek with its gratuitous Kirk, funny side characters, and Zachary Quinto's perfect Spock, but it just doesn't have the great story that the previous movie had.
Kym:
Regardless, I still think it's a more than worthwhile movie, and a must see for anyone who loved the previous. It just didn't wow me like the previous one. Let's hope they get a bit more original for the next one.
"These puny guards will NEVER hold the likes of....wait, who's that?"
...
"..."
"..."
...
"Well that was awkward..."
"Well that was awkward..."
...
MAY MOVIES: STARTING STRONG
Kym:
Vin Diesel and the Rock, back for another Fast & Furious movie! What's not to love?
Rob:
Tokyo Drift?
Kym:
Which had neither Rock nor Diesel. Case in point.
Rob:
If the trailers are any indication, the movie looks like pure ridiculous action, which let's be honest, is what you went for when you watched 1 through 5.
Kym:
In the latest installment, they're on the government's side, trying to catch a master criminal.
Rob:
Sure! Why not?
Kym:
Also, Michelle Rodriguez's character comes back to life, which is surprising, considering she usually dies in every movie she's in. Maybe she's just come back so she can die again?
Rob:
Could be. In any case, I'm sure this will be a great brainless action movie. I'll watch pretty much any movie where a car gets run over by a tank. It's a guy thing.
Kym:
Know what else is a guy thing? Taking your little sister and/or niece to movies like...
Rob:
There is literally nothing in that picture that appeals to me. They lost me at "From the Creators of Ice Age".
Kym:
Despite the story being about a war between tiny people, they sure seem to be making those two slugs look like the main characters.
Rob:
Great, another 'hilarous' Ice Age-like character. I wonder which one's the stupid one, and which one's always trying to get the acorn.
Kym:
That aside, the trailers at least look visually impressive, and have a lot of Lord of the Rings-like action, with a dose of Honey I Shrunk the Kids, and a dose of dumb kids movie humor. Better get ready for fart jokes, dearest.
Rob:
Lovely.
Rob:
Didn't we just have this movie, only with Tom Cruise?
Kym:
Despite the similarities to Oblivion in setting/plot, I get more of a Hunger Games vibe from the movie, with a teenager overcoming the elements and obstacles in the woods, trying to survive.
Rob:
I like the father/son angle they're using with the plot, but we'll have to see if it's enough to carry the entire movie. With both characters being physically separated for most of the movie, I have a feeling we're either going to have LONG scenes without dialog, or constant yammering back and forth. Either too little or too much.
Kym:
If any father/son combination can pull it off, it's Will Smith and his real life son, Jaden. With them in the main roles, the movie should hopefully be good. My only reservation is that since the movie's by M. Night Shyamalan...
Rob:
Wait, it's by M. Night Shyamalan? Wow, they hid that well. I had no idea from watching the trailers.
Kym:
His reputation still hasn't recovered from "Last Airbender". Still, he's a pretty good director. My only fear is that M. Night Shamalamadingdong will throw in a twist ending, such as the whole thing being a test, or partially in the son's head...
Rob:
Or the biggest twist of all: HIS FATHER IS A RAPPER!
Kym:
Not just any rapper...A FRESH PRINCE!
(Now son, if you encounter an evil alien, just bounce and then slide...)
...
Kym:
It's really nice to see the Zombieland duo back together again, this time is a zombieless action movie revolving around bandit magicians, pulling off an Ocean's 11 like heist.
Rob:
Are we absolutely sure it's Zombieless? Because I was kinda hoping for at least a little zombiekilling.
That guy over there is lookin' sort of zombish to me....
Kym:
Wouldn't get your hopes up love, but it does look funny.
Rob:
Uh...are we sure? It's actually not completely clear on that point. The preview shows a couple jokes, but for all we know, that could be the only ones in the movie. There might not be any action either.
Kym:
I think you're being a bit paranoid. The movie looks fun, and those two rarely ever disappoint. I say it's definitely looks like it's worth a shot.
Kym:
A nice creepy horror movie from the people who brought us Paranormal Activity. It's a good thing.
Rob:
I like the dystopian setting, a seemingly perfect America which falls into complete barbarity for one night a year. It really adds something to the traditional 'family trapped in their house, masked maniac trying to get in and kill them' setting.
Kym:
There's also a dose of 'walking dead' morality issues that pop up, like whether to bring in innocent people on the run, and the consequences of their actions.
Rob:
We can only hope the cast of Purge takes a note from Walking Dead and makes the right choice...
Kym:
Kill Andrea right away.
JUNE MOVIES: HIT OR MISS
Rob:
No.
Kym:
Now dearest, this one actually looks pretty funny. Maybe we could....
Rob:
No.
Kym:
*Sigh* I'm afraid my hubby is very anti-Vaughn, but I think this one's worth a look see. There's plenty of chance for laughs as the middle aged salesmen try to compete with young wiz-kids.
Rob:
Unless the last challenge involves hunting Vince for sport, Hunger Games style, I'm not interested. Moving on.
Kym:
Rob:
I'm not so sure Henry Cavill is quite in Robert Downey Jr's league.
Kym:
Or Christopher Reeve's league for that matter. Makes you wonder why they didn't go with a more veteran actor instead of a young pretty boy.
Rob:
Like Nicholas Cage? I agree!
Kym:
*Ugh* No. Very NO. Better stick to National Treasure movies, Nick. As for unknown pretty boys, that's what they did for the last Superman movie, and we all saw how that turned out.
Rob:
I guess we'll have to make do with what we have. Anyway, the new Superman movie is distancing itself from the last disastrous one, focusing on Superman's origins, and both the moral and political dilemmas arising from having almost unlimited power and....why does this all seem a bit familiar?
Pan up! PAN UP!
Kym:
It's interesting that the movie's brought to us from the Director of Watchmen, when it's more or less just recycling one of the major plot points of said movie: what happens when you introduce a nearly godlike being into the real world.
Rob:
Let's just hope Clark keeps his boxers on.
Kym:
Pretty sure the PG-13 rating guarantees that. Also, I think they're going less psychological with this movie and more punching bad guys sort of movie. Still, it'll be interesting to see if they put together something original, and what answers they come up with, considering that Dr. Manhattan couldn't come up with one, choosing to leave the planet instead.
Rob:
Which would sort of limit the opportunities for sequels. Then again, it's difficult to write Superman plots in general. They pretty much all involve Kryptonite, which the creators have sworn against using. That mostly limits him to either temporarily losing his powers, or fighting other equally powerful aliens in punching contests.
Kym:
Hmm...how about we stick Superman on Asgard? Have Thor take a crack at him.
Rob:
Couldn't hurt. With Christopher Nolan's last superhero movie falling flat, it'll take a Superman-like performance to catch up with Marvel now.
Rob:
Mike and Sully back together again! This time in an old fashioned college comedy!
Kym:
I like how when Pixar does sequels, they don't just rehash the last movie. They always change the type of movie it is. Toy Story 2 expanded into a huge rescue mission in a colossal undiscovered world, Toy Story 3 was a prison break movie, Cars 2 involved spies, and so forth.
Rob:
Now we have an Animal House-like college comedy! Well...only without the sex, drinking, drugs, and language.
Kym:
Pretty sure Disney's not gonna go there.
Rob:
Yeah, I'm about 98% sure that Mike and Sully aren't going to drop any N-bombs.
Kym:
Yeah, but if I know Pixar, I'm sure they're gonna have a lot of innuendo and subtle jokes for the adults as well as the simpler jokes for the kids. In any case, Pixar never fails to disappoint, and I have high hopes for this one.
Kym:
And here we have the Walking Dead on PCP.
Rob:
Yeah, for better or worse, WWZ has cranked up the speed on zombies to absolutely ridiculous levels.
Kym:
That's a really odd choice, considering that's the exact opposite of what people think when zombies normally come up. It's more of a 28 days later type zombie, and either way it's not exactly an original idea. Not many original ideas left as far as zombies are concerned.
Rob:
And yet Paramount pictures and its investors have bet an mind boggling 400 MILLION dollars on it being an amazing hit!
Kym
Come on folks! Brad Pitt may be a great actor, but the man has limits!
Rob:
Basically, WWZ has to be one of the biggest hits ever, or your boy Brad loses his thumbs.
Kym:
It's difficult to fathom a movie costing 400 million to make, what with all 3 of the original Lord of the Rings movies costing 100 million combined. I know there were a lot of production problems, reshoots, and ridiculously expensive special effects, but it's amazing they weren't cut off earlier.
Rob:
And those aforementioned special effects just look ridiculous to me, which is a problem when your movie cost as much as 12 Lord of the Rings movies.
2/5 of a billion dollars well spent.
Kym:
I'll take Walking Dead over that any time. Unless this movie takes the world by storm, or Brad Pitt is particularly charming, I might pass on this one. For the same effect just take:
+
+
= Hell of a big risk.
...
Okay, now I KNOW we had this one before.
Kym:
Nope, it's just another case of two studios making amazingly similar movies. Considering the lukewarm reception the last one got, they have some ground to cover, although that could work in their favor. The quicker everyone forgets the last 'attack on the white house' movie, the sooner they can sweep in with this one.
Rob:
This one seems a bit lighter than the previous, with a Jamie Fox as the Obamaesque president, and Channing Tatum as the Secret Service security agent. If you ask me, that setup has 'Buddy Cop' movie written all over it! I just wish they went the whole way and had Jamie Fox AS Obama.
The big finale!
Kym:
That may have ruffled a few feathers. Anyway, the movie looks like a lot of fun! A buddy cop movie taking placing in the white house should be well worth seeing.
Rob:
I still say having a gun toting, terrorist capping, wise cracking president Obama shooting down the enemies alongside Channing Tatum would have spelled box office gold!
Kym:
Well I...wait, do you mean Jamie Fox as Obama, or President Obama as HIMSELF?
Rob:
What do you think?
BARACK AND ROLL!
Rob's rating: B (Zachary Quinto kept it from being a B-)
Kym's rating: Buy on Blu-ray as soon as it's on sale
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