Rob:
What's the best movie released last week, that the majority of moviegoers are inexplicably ignoring?
Kym:
Red 2! And it's a damn shame it isn't doing better. This movie was pure action packed fun, starring A-list 60-70 year old actors and actresses firing the largest guns imaginable.
This picture contains just as many film award nominations as it does bullets.
Rob:
Overall, it's a really solid action/caper movie. It wastes no time with exposition, and simply picks up where Red 1 left off, and right into the action. It's in the same spirit as Ocean's 11 and 13.
Not this one though. Let's just pretend this one didn't happen.
Kym:
So why no love from the movie going public? Going by the numbers, the younger (under 25) viewers didn't go to see it at all. Maybe there weren't enough explosions to get their attention.
Rob:
I have a feeling it has more to do with 'old movie star comes back to make an action movie' losing its novelty, thanks to Stallone and Arnold making a new one every 4 months or so. I think the younger crowd are simply getting tired of movies like the 'Expendables'.
Kym:
The quality of the actors and actresses really raises it above the 'Expendables' movies, if you ask me. The Expendable movies are still good, of course, but the cast of Red 2 aren't just action stars, they can actually act!
Rob:
When they're given the chance to. Catherine Zeta Jones unfortunately wasn't really given the chance. She was barely in it.
Worse yet, this is pretty much as nude as she got in it.
Kym:
Sorry, dear. I know you were fawning over her in weeks past, but she wasn't in nearly as much of it as the trailers suggested, and yes, she was fully clothed in every scene...
Rob:
Overdressed to the extreme!
Rob:
Overdressed to the extreme!
Pictured above: LIES!
Rob:
It's amazing how much sexier her co-stars managed to be. Mary-Louise Parker works her usual "(sexy + quirky) divided by 2" charms.
There, she didn't even have to try hard.
Rob:
That's to say nothing of Helen Mirren, who steals every scene she's in, and transmits more raw sex appeal in a twirl of her foot (while firing a sniper rifle, naturally), than CZJ does all movie!
Kym:
It's kind of sad when the femme fatale and love interest are completely outshone by a woman old enough to be their grandmother.
Rob:
Even without considering the other actresses, Catherine Zeta Jones' performance really fell flat. Hell, Despicable Me 2 had more sex appeal.
Uh...not quite. Good effort though.
There you go.
Kym:
Helen Mirren was definitely my favorite. Not only surprisingly charismatic and sexy for her age, but the woman was an absolute killing machine from the movie's start to finish!
Any scene with Helen Mirren holding a large gun is a good one.
Rob:
My personal favorite was John Malcovich. His insane antics really tie the movie together, especially with Bruce Willis playing a perfect straight man to Malcovich's "paranoid, gun-toting comic relief" the entire time.
Just your average day.
Kym:
Anthony Hopkins is another nice addition to the cast, and rounds out the 'highly respectable actor/actress playing a complete lunatic' trio!
Rob:
There were, inevitably, some issues here and there.
Kym:
Such as a lack of Cathering Zeta Jones nudity?
I mean, her breasts were already along with her on the set! She wouldn't have been inconvenienced at all!
Rob:
Some issues were a little more subtle than that. Despite Iran not exactly being friends with many countries out there, including our own, I'm a little surprised they saw no problem with just shooting down the guards at their embassy with impunity, as if they were a Storm Trooper, Nazis or Ninjas.
Most ninjas, anyway. Please, no shooting the Turtles.
Kym:
Without giving anything away, the ending was pretty weak. The leadup to it is great, but the main villain is so easily tricked and defeated, it makes you wonder how he got that far to begin with.
Still a better final fight than the 'double exploding high 5 of doom'
Rob:
Finally...who the hell is this guy?
Lee-Byung-Hun, apparently
Kym:
Okay, at 43 years old he isn't exactly young, but he still falls about two decades short of most of the other actors, making us wonder why they didn't go with an older, and better known Asian actor?
Rob:
Jackie Chan, Chow Yun-fat, Beat Takashi, Jet Li, Donnie Yen...hell, I could go on for pages. No offense toward Lee Beyung-Hun, who gives a decent performance, but he's not exactly well known, and doesn't fit the 'Red' cast at all.
Kym:
This is mostly nitpicking though. Red 2 is an excellent action movie/comedy, and a whole lot of fun. I recommend you all stop watching low budget horror movies and kid films, and go give Red 2 a try!
Beats many of the alternatives.
Kym:
Which brings us the other big event this past weekend, and we aren't talkin' about Royal babies!
Three days of downtime, and then Kate Middleton's back to being gorgeous again.
Rob:
No, we're speaking of the weekend where America came together as a people, and finally, nay DEFINITIVELY said no to Ryan Reynolds.
Not even those abs could save him.
Kym:
How bad of an actor is Ryan Reynolds? With a body and looks like that, it seems virtually impossible for him to not be a successful actor. Hell, countless careers have been based on looks half as good as his.
Ryan Gosling: exactly 50% the looks of Ryan Reynolds
Rob:
All the abs in the world can't save Reynolds now. It wasn't enough that he starred in Green Lantern, the franchise that crash landed before it even started....
Here he is drawing power directly from his abs.
Kym:
Or that he woefully underperformed as another Geek comic favorite 'Deadpool' in Wolverine Origins.
Killing that franchise before it even started!
Rob:
But now he's given Hollywood TWO blockbuster bombs in the same week! RIPD and Turbo.
May they rest in peace.
Kym:
To be fair, Ryan Reynolds didn't ruin either of these movies, which were both terrible on their own, but he certainly didn't help. Whereas stars like Robert Downey Jr and Chris Hemsworth help their superhero movies rise above the rest, Ryan is more or less an anchor, making sure they never leave the bottom.
Rob:
The dude can't even do romantic comedies right...in parts that literally consist of nothing besides 'show up with your shirt off'.
Okay, so he's not 'terrible' at it.
Kym:
He's just not a very good actor. Unlike other 'not very good actors', Hollywood just keeps on putting him in one high budget blockbuster after the next. Maybe they'll learn their lesson this time.
Deadpool (2016) Ryan Reynolds confirmed for role.
Rob:
We just can't have nice things.
Kym:
Let's just hope he doesn't show up to ruin 'The Wolverine' this weekend.
You've been warned, Ryan. He kicked your ass once, he can do it again!
...
RED 2 FINAL SCORE
ROB: B to B+ (depending on whether you're in the mood for a silly action/comedy or not)
KYM: Buy on Blu-ray, watch the first and second back to back!
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